Nike recently announced that they’ll be selling a new LeBron James-inspired sneaker that will sell for $315! $315??? Who would pay $315 for a Nike sneaker when they could get some perfectly good Cons for $29.99? Cons have served me well over the years and they’re the perfect sneaker for all occasions: a wheelchair basketball game, a fake prom with your dream girl, a romantic stroll on the beach, breakfast/lunch/dinner at the Max, and even an upscale murder mystery mansion. Besides, who thought LeBron James was the best choice to inspire a sneaker? Was Magic Johnson busy? And hey, guess what kind of sneaker Magic Johnson wears? CONS!!!
Of all the schemes I was part of in high school, this was one of my favorites. I made Jessie, Kelly and Lisa think Slater was dying and that his only hope of survival involved moving to Hawaii. Sure, no one spoke to me for a good while, but it was worth it. Click on the thumbnail to read what I wrote back in the day:
When I recently saw Jennifer Lopez’s new boyfriend, I was both shocked and chagrinned. She clearly missed some telltale signs that point to the fact that she’s dating a nerd.
Nerds typically have bad eyesight from reading so many math and science books, thus the non-contemporary eyewear. They also make unusual wardrobe choices that automatically render them unattractive to any non-nerd female.
Nerd-ism knows no particular race or creed and can strike at anytime. It’s the silent killer…of one’s social life.
If a nerd is more than 10 pounds overweight and isn’t good at athletics, he will constantly crave food and talk about eating any chance he gets. It’s just science, people.
I don’t know what J-Lo was thinking. Let’s hope this is a temporary lapse in judgement on her part. A pretty, popular girl falling for a nerd can have devastating, long-lasting ramifications:
Around Bayside, Lisa Turtle is the resident fashionista, but it seems some hot young Hollywood starlets are trying to steal her look. Rachel Bilson and Jessica Szohr may have the patterned dress/jean jacket look down, but Lisa scores major points from the judges for posing with such bravado. Bonus points for staging her fashion shoot at the Max.